The Rabbi's Colossal Quandary or The woman in Blue (Awamano)
By Mwinji Nakamba
Matthew 22:35-40 "love your neighbor as yourself"
The three men sit down in a musky bar, an orange light spilling through the shimmering red window.
"Ahh, Marvel at the wonders of creation,” the Catholic Priest says.
"Indeed," the Rabbi says.
The explorer, who had come in after the agreed time of 12'oclock, panting after running from the bus stop, smiles, “Yes, even I want religion, do marvel at creation!"
"Indeed," the Rabbi says. He's been dealing with some dubious government officials wanting to bribe him according to the "moral code" of the Ministry of Religion that he should be so bold to proclaim E alwileyaYuda, na imisambilizye awa Yuda in a Christian nation, and needless to say he is tired. He removes his glasses and lowers his gaze.
"Tell me,” the explorer begins. He orders a round of beers for the one or two customers having lunch. All of them are the usual businessmen types, except for one woman. The woman, sitting near the entrance, dons a royal-blue dress, tailored just so. From time to time she glances up from her phone to the entrance, waiting for someone. She is quite so exquisite, the explorer thinks. He might never want to blaspheme but does she not remind him of the Pieta, that great work, doused in a sorrowful, but compassionate kind of longing. Anyway, he shouldn't get ahead of himself.
The Priest orders another round for the next customers entering the bar, more businessmen, perhaps lawyers he thinks, judging by how they begin to interrogate one another only a few moments after they are seated."Have you stolen?" the explorer continues.
I have not. The Rabbi says.
"Seduced another man's wife?" The Father adds. His hands are clean from sanitizing, and washing after using the purificator and laying it down for Christine to clean, then washing them after the Mass. Then cleansing them once again at the entrance of the bar with the foot-pedal controlled dispenser/machine which lets out green goo. His hands are purified, not in the biblical sense but for the purpose of sustaining his health, both by avoiding this new microbe but also eating. He loves groundnuts. Even as a boy.
"Do not be greedy!" the Rabbi says.
"It is theft, that is a commandment Rabbi, my friend. In any case, I shall leave some for you my friend, a delicious Zambian delicacy!"
"Have you taken from the temple?" the explorer adds. The woman in the royal-blue dress is now merrily enjoying a hamburger and a mid-day pinotage. He smiles at her joy.
Just when he thinks she must have no idea of his presence, the conversation continuing in incremental questions, the Rabbi getting increasingly weary. She gets up from her table and wipes her mouth.
"Do you mind if I ask the priest here something?" She curtsies and claps her hands together, giving a gentle nod to each one of them with each clap. Then, after returning to her standing positions, kneels on both knees. "Father, she says, forgive my being so forward, but may I speak to this gentleman."
"I could not seduce another man's wife," the explorer says. He taps his ring finger, glancing up at her almost shyly. The woman, as though he has pressed a button, his adventurous air reminding her of her husband, gently caresses the bedazzling adornment on hers. She remembers for one last time a union that held the promise of love, of honesty, sincerity-as crystal clear as diamond-and infidelity, waiting for a divorce lawyer in a quiet restaurant far away from anything she could have imagined. She returns as she does to her table, having had a question answered. What a glorious day she mutters as she looks out of the window. Later, she will tell her lawyer that she wants her husband to keep the car, the house in Cape Town, the stocks, that anything that brings discord she will let go of, considering all the rules and laws that keep us together and at peace with ourselves and, one another.
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Mwinji Nakamba is a model and writer. The story was inspired by reminisces of her days and learning in uni, where she won the only thing she has ever won (come 1st place for) the Religious Studies class medal, as well as some personal encounters. This is her first story in this kind of style.
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