Dear Dad

Thata M. Tumedi

 

 

Dear dad, I am writing this letter to you

to let you know that

Mom died.

 

She's been dead for a long long time now

Oh! No no..don't look so grim

I haven't buried her yet.

I thought this time you would want to say your goodbyes.

Maybe this time we'll have some good luck and you will do it right.

Maybe this time you won't be such a coward

And sneak out in the middle of the night with a 21 year old

While you are already starting to bald.

 

That night I lost you, I lost my mother

I lost something inside of me

Or perhaps several things

Things central to my existence

The very support for who I am as a person!

But I knew there was no salvation here, only adaptation.

Isn't it funny how every girl adores her father and resents her mother?

Its such a cliché, but you were my shade daddy

And I was never ashamed of you

When our neighbors blamed you for the poverty in our house

When they called you lazy and a disgrace in my face

But now mom's dead!

That changes everything... That makes you a murderer!!

All mom is left with is the Storm that dwells within her hallow, hollow frame.

With this masterpiece of sorrow,

I have learnt to master my pain.

I've dealt with the stinging guilt of failing to protect my mother

And now my interests tilt.

So, I ain't got no daddy issues

Because I got plenty of tissues

To wipe my tears when the days are dark

Like last night!

My first ever longest relationship ended- a cataclysmic debacle.

But this was a bittersweet moment for me

Cause even though I was sad

I was even more glad that

I had finally overcome my fears of commitment and attachment.

I...had a relationship that lasted 13 long days.

So, I don't resent you dad

In fact I yearn for the bond we created

And I hope you come back

Cause maybe... Just maybe...

we can move from 13 days to 30 days

I still dream about all the nights you put me to bed

And sang me lullabies after mum fed me

These dreams encapsulate my memories.

That's the thing with memories

They warm you up inside but also they can tear you apart from within.

 

Have you seen where the sea and the sky meet?

It's only an illusion, they can't meet.

But isn't it beautiful?

This union which isn't really there

Like the union I have with you in my dreams.

Well, with this being my 7th letter to you

I do not hope for a miracle response.

I know I'm chasing the shadow of a ghost....so unobtainable.

So, I will take responsibility and shield myself

From this pain you've created

And I'll have my mother cremated

 

Yours truly, 

Me

 

*

 

Thata M. Tumedi is  a 24 year old writer and poetess from Botswana now residing in Turkey. She is currently pursuing her masters in Human Resource Management at Nisantasi University. She defines happiness in three words: Love,Travel and Art. Thata spends her holidays and weekends volunteering and doing charity work because there is no better art than LOVE. She draws her strength and wisdom from her mother and thrives to inspire young women to speak out through poetry and art.

 

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